Good Afternoon;
So I just met another long lost relative. My cousin Harriet, (granddaughter from my Grandfather's hidden first marriage), stopped by the library with her son Mark(c?), and we met and talked for an hour or so.
It helped a bit to have someone to talk with, and has been a factor in lightening my deeply black mood to a dark gray. The clinical depression is also bottomed out for this cycle and is beginning the long slow climb up the steep and slippery slope towards 'neutral buoyancy'.
I seem to have caught up on some much needed sleep, and although the time slept was increased only slightly, it was apparently much more restful, raising the mood level from 'suicidal/homicidal' to merely 'shitty'....(LOL).
The idea of a 'road trip' is growing stronger and more intense each and every day.
The destination varies from minute to minute, (or from psychoses to neuroses...lol), there are times I want to head south to Florida and try to hook up with some of the 'boat people' I used to know, at other times I want to just start out with a bus ticket "west" and just roll with it....and on the really dark days I think about going to Ocean City, starting at the beach, and walking east. This isn't planned as a permanent departure as of yet...(except of course the hiking trip to France....lol)...there is still Rachel here in Baltimore.
I just have to get away from this place for a while, (on something other than a 'State sponsored vacation'!!....LOL!). Keep watching this space for more updates as of June 7th, when a decision will be forthcoming. With out a passport or driver's license available, limitations arise as to both destination and mode.
Last night I closed the library and wandered over to the Dunkin Donuts and filled a bag with a few friters. apple buns and a bagel from the dumpster. That is today's meals as of this point. I spent $1.25 out of my last $1.97 on a cup of coffee, (the machine was broken yesterday and I never did get any coffee), so I am down to 72 cents in liquid assets. (and a can of diet orange soda....lol).
When I went into the shed about 11:30 pm. last night I used up almost the whole can of Wasp and Hornet spray, soaking the insulation and the backing paper and sticking the nozzle down inside to soak down the nest/hive. The buzzing got insane for about a half an hour, then at random intervals as latecomers returned to the site, finally silencing completely about 1:00 am. I was watching "Two And A Half Men" on the DVD player until the battery died, and then i either fell asleep or passed out due to the toxic fumes. When I rapped on the paper this morning there was no noise behind it at all.
Although......a New group of birds decided they wanted to try to take up housekeeping in one of the other gaps in the walls of the shed this morning around 5:00 am., perhaps because of the lack of bees? I banged and slammed and threw things at the roof until they stopped coming back, about an hour later.
Who knows what will await me when I return tonight, if they took advantage of the absence of distractions to establish squatter's rights' or not.
I guess I am going to just stay here at the library as hot and humid as it is outside. It is now projected to be in the low 90's tomorrow and Thursday, so that looks like the plan for the next few days....just f*cking lovely, between the heat and the fumes and the waterbugs, the shed should be delighful.
I guess I'll call Jenn and see if I can scrounge a meal tomorrow and kill some time there possibly, Iknow I'll be sick and tired of donuts by then, and it's too hot to go stand in line at one of the soup kitchens. 8 and 1/2 days to go until I see if my money came through.
I'm done for now...............later.....................Dave
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