Good Afternoon;
Sorry but no funny anecdotes today. I'm too exhausted in body, mind and spirit.
I slept poorly again last night, partly due to the heat that the shed holds from the day, partly from the insomnia. I'm so tired of not having a place to just sit and just have somewhere to 'be'. Somewhere I don't have to get up and leave everyday just to fulfill the mimimum requirements of existence. I am tired of hurting all the time. It is getting to be an effort to crawl out of bed, such as it is, everyday. All I want is to be able to get up and NOT go anywhere for a change.
Right now I have the basic needs, (except for shelter),--meds, food, and phone,--covered for another couple days, (or at least the money set aside), and a couple dollars extra in my pocket. After that, who knows?
It's getting hot early today, not extremely so but enough to make being in the sun uncomfortable to sit and eat lunch. With the Starbucks in Pikesville closed there is no place close to be able and sit and just kill time. I'm getting tired of riding 2 buses each way to go to Mt. Washington now that the crew has changed so much, the atmosphere has gotten much less carefree and 'family' like; except for Ashley and Veronique there is no one still there from a year ago.
I am so damn drained from the afteraffects of Wednesdays anxiety attack I can barely think straight to write, and it is too much trouble to try to be clever or humorous.
Keeping up the facade is becoming a burden,
always being alone, even in a crowd, is killing me.
Waiting for answers is killing me.
Sh*t times up
later........Dave
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