Tuesday, April 20, 2010

"Once More....With Feeling.........................."

Good Afternoon Again;
Well I was lucky and there was no line so I am back right away.
I did sleep for a decent stretch last night, first from about 11:30 pm. until 1:30 pm. when it was either get up or get wet...lol, and then from 1:45 pm until almost 7:30 am., I just couldn't seem to find a reason or the motivation to move, (classic symtoms of clinical depression), and I ended up dozing on and off until almost 11:00 am. I went to the Giant and got the makings for a sandwich, (and while I was wandering the store I felt really light headed, and almost stoned...maybe the combination of Lisonpril on an empty stomach, the flu shot reaction, the low fever and no coffee?...on TOP of the depression..), and then walked over to the rear of the library and sat at the picnic table in the shade eating and reading for about an hour and a half, (I had a Diet Mountain Dew for the caffeine), then came in to the computers, where I attended to my e-mail chores and then watched an episode of 'Jeeves and Wooster' and....here I am.
I have noticed that when I am flat broke with no cash in sight for a significant period of time, everything seems to be more intense, little annoyances take on larger shape, if I still have food credits I can't trade for cash, I tend to eat more and better, and a fatalistic..WTF..attitude prevails.
I received an E-mail from Liz, saying she will pick me up at 8:30 am. tomorrow, (Wed.), morning.....maybe I was mistaken about yesterday?...who the hell knows right now, i can't seem to think straight or remember anything. I sent off an E-mail to try to arrange transportation for Sunday's Mitzvah Day at Beth Israel, and I am awaiting a reply.
It has not been totally f*cked this week, on Sunday while I was in the Whole Foods next to the Starbucks in Mt. Washington, I ran into Janis and we stood in the aisle for half an hour talking and she gave me a ride back to the shed and we sat and talked for another 15 minutes, it was nice to catch up.
Speaking of the Starbucks, for some reason the atmosphere of the place seems a bit tense. Employees seem to be kind of on edge and less than happy. I just a get a mildly uncomfortable vibe. Whether or not this is because of any fallout due to the middle managements reaction to some things mentioned in the 2 articles, I am not sure. And of course it is at a time when due to financial lack, my options are limited as to where to go.
Another thing I have noticed is that being broke and homeless during bad weather and winter's lesser daylight time seems to sting less, (I mean on a mental or emotional level, not the obvious physical challenges winter presents). A nice day, such as today, especially when the depression is in full swing, hurts worse because of having more things to not be able to do due to lack of funds and longer sunlit hours.
I'm out of time this session.................
....later...........Dave

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