Wednesday, February 2, 2011

"A Nasty, Nasty Post........About...........A Nasty, Nasty Night................"

Good Afternoon;
Well I can honestly state that last night was the worst night I've had since being on the streets. The weather WAS a major contributing factor but not the cold for a change.
Just A Friendly Warning:
If you are easily 'grossed out', have delicate sensibilities, or if the nastier elements of normal human bodily functions disturb you....just take my word for it that it was a shitty night, literally
I told you about the bug I picked up from Devin, and which I thought had run it's course. I found out too late and too many cups of coffee later that it had not. As I was leaving the Starbucks last night I had a sudden and unforeseen need to use the commode.....immediately! Afterwards, fearing the worst, I took the last dose of one of my meds that has an almost instant side effect of slowing drastically or stopping intestinal motility. This would normally do the trick and leave me unworried and confidant until I was able to pick up more as scheduled the next morning. I stopped at the gas station, just to be sure, as it had started to rain fairly heavily, and because of the untrammeled 6-10 inch deep snow field and the unshoveled and now iced over snowy sidewalks, the piled up snow left by the plows blocking the 'short cut' to the gas station lot and the narrow and slick lanes on Reisterstown Rd. I would be forced to walk on all combined to make a quick, urgent, and sudden trip to the facilities there a total impossibility.
After I finished in the restroom, I again felt that I would have no problems or issues that could not wait until morning. I looked up at the Keno screen and saw my numbers come up on the game figures the ONE time I vary my routine and don't buy a ticket!)
I was in the bag and reading by 10:30 pm., and except for somewhat cold fingers holding the book, warm and comfortable.....all things considered, (i.e. back and gall bladder). I went to sleep, (the first time), about 11:15 pm. and woke up just before Midnight with pain and pressure and a desperate need to use a toilet.....
OKAY...Again, you can stop here, if you don't want the details.
I realized that I could not take a chance on bending over and putting the boots on.....or else! I slipped my feet into the old, old sneakers I use as slippers and resigned myself to soaking and freezing my feet as I slipped and stumbled through the snow to the gas station. When I opened the door and saw and felt the freezing rain that was pouring down I knew I would never be able to negotiate the parking lots, street, and sidewalk and make it in time. Just effin' lovely! I grabbed a plastic bag, (tall 15 gallon kitchen size), that I use to (or USED, keep my sleeping clothes in and lined a corrugated plastic crate/tub/bucket, (similar to those used in mail rooms....the taller ones, not the long low ones), and squatted, just barely in time. Luckily I am always well supplied with paper towels or napkins. Afterwards I tied up the bag and flung it as far as I could across the unused portion of the parking lot, to be dealt with and properly disposed of when the snow melts. This happened 3 damn more times, with the same methodology, each time with me thinking it was the last. And not be crude, but damn this stuff smelled was just wrong! I've changed enough diapers and had to deal with my own diarrhea after the abdominal surgery and bowel resection to know..........if it happens again this afternoon, I'm heading to JAI or the ER!
Finally about 5:30am. I awoke with enough time and no urgency and went over to the gas station wearing the boots in a less strident rain and with the capability to deal with the snow/slush/ice with out rushing.
I was hoping to find a package of Immodium among all the other single dose OTCs there....HA!......everything But!
I went back and lay down and dozed until just after 8:00 am. when I dressed and went over to the Giant, bought some Immodium and took it and went into the bathroom and washed off. I then caught the bus/train/bus down to Monkee's, where I barely made it up her stairs as I again suddenly, with no warning at all!!, had to explode. Another dose of Immodium and my 'bupe' at about 10:30 am. has held back the 'sh*tstorm' all far. I took the bus and the train over to the coffee shop where I have been sipping the same cup of coffee for 4 hours, (occasionally warmed up a bit), and drinking water to re-hydrate. I am getting very hungry and am now considering what will be safest to eat.
Anybody who has any romantic notions of the 'free and easy life', or the 'lure of the open road' or has not considered what the flip side of things like the Renaissance Faire, or the Wild West Days, or the First 'Tea Party', or arrrgghhh .... Pirates of the Caribbean, or a Safari to 'Darkest Africa', or exploring the Amazon, or basically any pre-Industrial Revolution society, (and even many Post!), should know that things like 'Chamber Pots', 'corn cobs', 'banana leaves' are not really that much fun! (Not to mention food poisoning, dysentery, and intestinal viruses)
As I can readily attest to!..................LOL!
Well if I haven't driven you away, I'll see you back here
It may not be pretty, but I try to keep it honest.
For all the time I've spent out here I've really been pretty lucky because of my own
desire for cleanliness and precautions against and disgust with, living in my (probably anile) dislike of foul odors.....including and not limited to urine, feces, vomit, stale alcohol, and cigarette stink.
(Smoke if you want, I really don't care about all the health and social reasons......just don't do it near me, I hate the smoke and the smell, and whether you know it or not....even when you are and your clothes and hair and breath still stink!.....In case some of you wonder why I always try to stay 'upwind'....................LOL!)
That's part of the reason I avoid spending any length of time with most other homeless people.......or shelters.

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