Good Evening;
So it didn't hit me until this afternoon when I was finally able to force myself to get up and out of the shed, (and it was tough, with the gentle soporific drip and splash of the melting snow and ice creating a constant lullaby..........lol), and get my ass over to the RiteAid to drop off the prescription refills for my BP meds et.al., that it was Valentines Day. My subconscious must have been aware on an innate level all along of the impending holiday, and this obviously was what was fueling, in part, the flames of the depression that is consuming me right now.
For an unrepentant chauvinist and incurable romantic such as myself, having no one to share it with and expend all the built up romantic energy is like a dope fiend with a broken syringe.....AND clogged sinuses......lol! (And believe me, I've been there too......ha!)
Anyway, I have absolutely no energy and coffee is only acting as a biological version of Liquid Plumber! I think I was supposed to go to physical therapy for the first time sometime today.........oh well, I'm not really sure about whether I want to deal with it or not. Hmmmmm, maybe that is what one of the phone calls I let go to voicemail was about. Things are really tense right now between Jenn and I, so I'm going to give her as much space, (& time & distance!), as I can, though part of it is her own fault. The message she sent me Saturday morning was just vague enough and revelatory enough at the same time to make me both worry like hell and give her the amount of privacy she requested. All I had been doing was asking a general "are you okay" and leaving it at that....not asking for any details, as a sign of respecting her wishes. The bitchy text this morning, in response to my text, after I had gotten no response from 2 e-mails that were not inquisitive, was really the topping to the 'sh*t sundae' life has been feeding my caged and enraged psyche since Friday. I tried to contact one of the 'approved' Psycholog- or Psychiatr-..-ists this afternoon.......and the number is 'no longer in service'.
Whatever........................
I'm just bitching......and I can, so I am.........lol.
Later........................Dave
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