"Madness?......Nonsense?.........No Matter........ It's........... 'All In The Family'.................."

Good Evening;

Well....Friday was a both a pissy-ass waste of time dealing with the MTA and Walmart. I think the bus system schedulers should be called the "Monkey Transit Asshats"....
As in the old saw--
"Put 50,000 Monkeys in a room with 50,000 typewriters and eventually they will type out Hamlet".....
(although I favor the idea that it will be "King Lear",  or maybe the works of Edward Lear.... 'cause y'all know my feelings of identification with madness, insanity, and "Nonsense"...Or possibly Norman Lear?.....but I digress.
I think that the above method is how the MTA develops it's schedules, and probably hires some of their drivers, because some of them act as if they are but one step away from tearing off their uniforms, climbing on top of the bus and throwing feces at their passengers!
 

So after standing for 40 minutes on 2 overcrowded buses with 2 drivers who both were total jerks who purposely drove with jackrabbit starts and stops while overloaded with standees, many of whom were elementary school age kids, throwing them (and yours truly) from side to side and back and forth and almost falling over.....I got to the Walmart at Port Covington.

I had spent a good hour on the laptop tracking down the jeans in my size and style(s), that were both cheapest and in stock, multiples of pairs according to the website....and then I got to the disgusting sewer of a store. No 'Big & Tall' section at all, or any sizes larger than the XL-46 that tops out the normal size runs. After finally tracking down an "ass"ociate who wasn't talking on their cellphone or another "ass"ociate.....(and don't let me get started about the content of the cel and live conversations, with the vulgarity and limited vocabulary, and total absence of any type of grammar that passes for appropriate public discourse among the 'proletariat'......(male/female/white/black/brown/yellow)--[yeahhhhhh, ..when a middle-aged   Asian woman greets a racially confused white teenage hip-hop wannabe, and a perky preppy Ivy League collegiate styled black 20-something female and a stereotypical pointy toed cowboy booted bolo-tied Tex-Mex latino .... with: 

"What's up my niggas, you bitches is late again, yo,

 you gotta stop hittin'  them blunts yo, kna'meen!"And this was a supervisor!Professionalism, Courtesy, Civility, Manners, Common Freakin' Sense??!!??

Leaving the store shaking my head I waited about 20 minutes for a bus that was only 5 minutes late, running in tandem with Another bus on the same route, which pulled out 2 minutes after the bus I was on, as yet Another of the same bus was pulling in to the loop. They were supposed to be 25 minutes apart.....At Least!

I transferred to the #10 instead of the #7 and got off on Broadway and Pratt in  Upper Fells Point, which as one of the loci of the vibrant, varied, and multi-cultural Hispanic population in town has begun to get much more upscale than when I was living down there. Restaurants that were then only catering to the (legal & illegal) immigrant population, with no frills homestyle/'peasant' food from Central and South America in tiny storefronts often with no printed menus and mostly segregated by country/region, are now larger & fancier and competing for the tourist dollar too. The 'gentrification/yuppification', 

(..... ruination....but I'm a purist and a snob who knew and loved the area as a working seaport (and there was even a family connection through the movie theatre that bore my surname up until the mid-'70s, (it's now a Hispanic church); through the first influx of the artist/musician/hippie era, seedy, blowzy, raw, rude, & rebellious...and a little bit dangerous; into the rebirth and  rescue from demolition and destruction by Barbara Mikulski et. al., throughout the dilapidation and deterioration before the dawning of the second renaissance; and the wild and exciting unfocused energies that spurred growth and rehabilitation, to the slow strangulation and control of planned development and skyrocketing property values that forced out the bohemian renters that were the draw that brought the county folks and tourists in the first place, and which made it damn near impossible for old timers to ignore the outrageous profits to be had on their free and clear real estate; and the inflow of  new young money which fixed up and lived in their newly renovated, exposed brick, rooftop decked, stainless steel kitchened, Architectural Digested creations...and who brought in the young, bold, and culinarily innovative restaurateurs and boutique owners, which inspired the B & B innkeepers, whose success caused the $$ signs to begin to glow in the eyes of  the high rent hoteliers...........which has made Fells Point a beautiful, and palate pleasing destination and tourist hotspot, and a prime drinking ground for all the 'sorostitutes' and trustafarians' from T/L/JH Universities but the bane of those of us who revere and remember Funks, Miss Irene's, the "old", "real" Daily Grind, and similar haunts and dives.......},

process has become bilingual. But I've digressed again....lol.

I remembered a place on Broadway across  from the Broadway Market, a discount store landmark in Fells and a place to pick up jeans real cheap, "Dollars And Denims".  So I walked down Broadway towards the water marveling at the change and the rapidity of it, and the sudden infusion of BIG money. On both sides of Broadway large iron frameworks had been erected. They were supporting the historic facades of buildings, commercial and old residences too. There are actually damn near complete blocks that are nothing more than an older, more fragile Fells Point version of the Hollywood 'back lot'! The work it takes to shore up and preserve as opposed to raze completely....... BIG MONEY! is here again.

Of course 'Dollars And Denims' is one of the businesses that did NOT relocate, (to my knowledge). I did stop in the Goodwill Retail Store, and nearly had an anxiety attack trying to sort through the unorganized by size and unmarked other than the mfgs. tag inside somewhere, jeans hanging on the racks.
I left and finished walking  through Fells Point and on into Canton along Aliceanna St., which becomes Boston St., all the way to "The Can Co." shopping center and the Safeway....with a short layover and libation, at "The Gin Mill" to surprise Michelle, who  is tending bar there. (I had a Gin and Tonic....what else  would I get there...lol!). I met her boyfriend and coworker Dave, chatted a few minutes and hit the Safeway.
As I was walking in I saw my former sponsor John P. and his wife Denise P. on their way out. It had been about 8 or 9 years since I'd seen him, (I used to run into Denise on the bus by the Courthouse fairly regularly). We chatted a few minutes and then they had to run  because they had a full cart of groceries, weekly shopping, and had to get home. I figured I'd run into him at some point as their home is 2 blocks over and one block closer to the waterfront from the apartment here.

The Safeway here is really a pretty crappy store for such a showcase location, dingy, dirty, dull. And on top of that they are expensive as hell. Plus....when I finally did get what I was going to buy and got to the registers, the lines were ridiculously long, and there were half a dozen cashiers just standing around chattering like magpies, not helping the active cashiers bag groceries, or helping at the 'self checkouts', (which are always screwing up through either machine malfunction or GIGO by customers), which had a line of 40 people stretching down the cereal aisle.

I just put my intended purchases in the cooler and said screw it! I stopped back here and grabbed a bite to eat and then had to hurry to catch the bus to Monkee's. I was able to reduce my debt by another significant factor and grab another 2 weeks worth of meds. Then it was back on the bus and I decided I HAD to go to the Safeway for some necessities. I puttered around in the now almost empty store for an hour or so and got some needed food items. After walking back here it was almost Midnight and I cooked dinner, ($1.00 Banquet Microwave Chicken Fried Steak in Sausage Gravy w/ Mashed Potatoes & Corn), {put the CFS pattie and gravy on 2 slices of toast with shredded cheddar and.....what else? -- MAYO!!!   LOL!!, mix the rest of the shredded cheddar with the MP & C and a big spoonful of the gravy, grated Parmesan and garlic salt}
A little extra work turns 'ehhhh' into 'pretty damn good'.

That's it for now, I'm tired....I'll tell you about Today's, (Sat.), runaround later on Sunday....er....today......lol! Didn't know it was so late.....lol!
I should have guessed by the near constant migration of tipsy white 20-30 somethings up the street under the windows, they've been in full vocalization of their alcohol enhanced mating dances.

Later...............................Dave

"One Step Forward, Two Steps Back...................."

Good Evening;

 The Link to the City Paper:

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back - Columns - Baltimore City Paper

Later........................Dave

"Quick Quips.................."

Good Evening;

So........just put Rachel to bed here in the apartment  I am cat/apt. sitting. We went to 'Disney On Ice' at the First Mariner Arena and so did Tom and Devin by chance. We saw them across the ice and met to say hello outside as we caught the bus and they caught the train back to Hunt Valley where they left the car.
As usual the show was wonderful........ but hey, it's Disney!...'nuff said?....lol.

In lieu of a full post.....because I am falling asleep too....here is a quick rundown of the past couple days.

I spent Tuesday afternoon and evening, and Wednesday until about 1:30 pm. when Tom, Jenn, & Devin dropped me off at the Light Rail in Hunt Valley. As the train stopped at Mt. Washington I held the door for a second and the 'ex' got Rachel to the train and handed her off to me.....just like a bag of mail in an old western movie......lol!

We took the train own to the Inner Harbor then caught the bus to the apartment here in Canton/Brewers Hill, where I showered, etc. and she met and petted Zorro, the fat cat. After about 2 hours it was back on the bus to the Arena and the iceshow.

I have another column in this week's Baltimore City Paper, (Oct. 24th - 30th issue......
Titled----"Homelesscide......{what else..lol!}.... --'One Step Forward, Two Steps Back'...."),
and on the way to Hunt Valley Tuesday to meet Jenn I stopped by the offices of the paper to see Evan and got a $20.00 advance for bus fare and food money for Rachel and myself until Friday.
When I get the balance of the check then.....look out Target here I come! I just hope the duct tape holds out for 1 more day on my current "blue/silver jeans".....lol!

Okay.......bedtime, in a real bed!

Later.......................................Dave

"Party Like A Street Sleeper............"

Good Evening;

A link to the "Word On The Street" Homelessness street paper:
http://wordonthestreetbaltimore.wordpress.com/2012/10/19/sleep-out-to-raise-awareness-of-homelessness-needs-your-help/

Later..........................Dave

"Everything And Nothing....................................."

Good Afternoon;

So......it's been a week and a day in the apartment I've been cat sitting in, and I've only left it 3 times in that period.
Once on the Friday night I got here to go pick up some meds., once on Tuesday evening to go to the Safeway in Canton, (not impressed, it's pretty dumpy for supposedly being a 'showcase' store), where I spent the last of my money on some milk and bread and a box of pasta. I spent Wednesday afternoon to Thursday afternoon at Jenn's watching the grandmonsters and Rachel. Tom picked me up a couple blocks from the apt. Wednesday, and dropped me at the Light Rail in Hunt Valley on Thursday.

It's been a combination of not wanting to go out in public while at the bottom of a depression cycle, and all the baggage that accompanies it; a total lack of cash; and the embarrassment of not having a decent pair of long pants. My jeans are being held together with duct tape at the moment, and they are literally the only pair of pants I own.

It goes to show that once the immediate need for shelter is met, for the extended short term & long term temporary, or permanent basis, priorities and worries change. What was once pride in coping becomes shameful.
Also, once basic creature comforts are accounted for, the floodgates are opened and bottled up and suppressed emotional needs, wants and desires, and losses and pain rush in to fill the gap. At times overwhelming physical and mental issues in perceived and felt enormity and importance.

In all forms of depression "loss of interest in things that used to be enjoyable" is a big symptom.
As you can tell by the recent slacking off of the frequency in posting, that is hitting me hard. As is the soul eating loneliness that is blanketing me.

I'll stop here for now, before I dig too deep a hole for my sanity to crawl out of.

Later...........................Dave

"Vegetable Soup ............. AKA .............. Couch Potato ................... (Without A Couch) ....."

Good Afternoon;


Well........Nothing new to report since Monday's post......and that's a good thing! (mostly)
I have been basically vegging out, taking advantage of not going anywhere or doing anything......Because I Can!!!
(and being flat broke helps....lol!)

I really DO have to get to D.S.S. this week though....Friday morning it looks like.

I am going up to Jenn's this afternoon to monster-sit tonight and tomorrow morning, returning here to Canton and Zorro the phony tough guy cat I am watching. He comes off mean.....until you get inside his guard and scratch behind his ears and along his jaw.....lol! Then he purrs and slaps at me if I stop too soon or get off the proper spot......'pussy!!!!'....................lol!

Rachel is already at Jenn's she went up yesterday evening to see Ed and Devin. I think she is coming down here to spend the night with me when I leave there tomorrow afternoon.

That's it for now.............

Later.......................................Dave

"Canton Cat House On The Corner......................"

Good Afternoon:

So........I've been at my cat/house sitting gig here on the edge between Canton and Brewers Hill since 5:30 Friday afternoon. I've left the apartment only 3 times, once to run past Monkee's Friday night, (and what a pleasure to travel without any baggage...actual physical baggage that is.....lol!), and once each on Saturday and Sunday to walk down to the corner to check on Lauren's car. She is the friend of Jenn whose father's cat/....[Zorro, who is shaped like a python who just swallowed a hog, and acts tough, but is a fat, spoiled, softy once you start petting him and find his 'sweet spots' behind the ears and on the jawline...lol]..../apartment I am watching/staying at.
(She left her car and borrowed his for some reason.)

I was going to go to D.S.S. but I couldn't get to sleep until after 5:00 am. and I am beat. I'm planning on going tomorrow.

It has been such a relief to just be able to stay in one place and not have to go here and there just to do something as simple as go to the bathroom or get coffee, to say nothing of sleeping in a bed, and one that DOES NOT hurt my back !!!!!!

For reasons I cannot go into detail about here, I am incredibly grateful and extremely humbled by the trust placed of those involved in arranging this gig. They run the gamut from Jenn, who obviously knows me and my past and present issues first hand, to her friend Lauren who knows me and knows about me, but not in the same detail, to her father Peter, whom I have never met or even spoken to.
I would just like to say to all three, I am honored that your belief in me looked beyond the surface of my present condition and saw something deeper that gave you the confidence to trust me, that I was above the temptations placed in my path.
Thank you, I passed beyond them and will continue to think and act in such a way to prove worthy of that trust......

Later..................................Dave

"COPY!!!............. Night Moves ..................&................Movin' On Up, To the East Side!!..........."

Good Afternoon;

So..........I'm here at the library and I've just e-mailed copy to Evan at the City Paper for next week's column.

Last night was uneventful but cold, my feet were again at that 'burning cold' stage that kept me from sleeping solidly.

There was one strange occurence though, at some point after 2:00 am. when I actually was in REM sleep a woman came up and said "here you go this is all I have for now" or something similar, and left a package of peanut butter crackers next to me, I don't know if she went by Barry and Mark also, it's a pretty hazy memory, I think...THINK, it may have been a female Maryland State Trooper, because I have a vague remembrance of the kind of Khaki/Olive trousers they wear in the  limited field of vision of my sleep crusted eyes.

I am meeting Jenn's friend Lauren at her father's house in Canton at 5:30 this eveningto get the keys and the tour and to meet the nasty kitty I am going to be pet-(and house)-sitting for the next 5?  maybe 6? weeks.
Hell yeah! Indoor plumbing, Indoor sleeping, washer/dryer, heat, TV!!!

I don't know if there is a computer or internet access there, so my posts may be somewhat spotty...(well even more than they have been....lol)

And my time is completely up again.....

Later................Dave

"HCH - Visit One.......................Making A Giant Leap Of Faith.......In Order Take Baby Steps............."

Good Evening;

So...I'm here at thee Starbucks on the laptop using Corey's powercord, and dealing with the eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees as best I can,
they are not too bad just now.....'knock silicon'!

Well......Margaret picked me up and took me to HCH, (Health Care for the Homeless), which is a beautiful, new facility on Fallsway next to the the 'Juvie Jail'. She introduced me to an LGSW and he took me up to his office and we talked for about an hour. He asked me a slew of questions from the Depression Screening Exam, then with some other questions regarding 'mania' came up with a probable diagnoses of Bipolar Disorder 2, (see your APA DSM-IV), which I had not known of, or that there were 2 levels, the main difference being mania (1) vs. hypomania (2), and an abnormal difference in mood (1) vs. a merely noticeable difference (2), and people exhibiting (1) experiencing delusions and hallucinations, with possible psychosis also.
It was hard finally 'coming out' with some long hidden truths, but cathartic also to find someone else, a professional to again tell me, I may be "Nuckin' Futz", but I'm not crazy, even though my life is a  bubbling pool of insanity.
He then consulted with another counselor/psychotherapist, who then questioned me independently. They talked in private and then he came back in and we talked about Bipolar 1 vs. 2 and the next step of seeing the psychiatrist...who is an MD.

I left shortly after that and stepped outside to figure out where the buses ran and which routes were where. As I looked around at various clients lolling on the steps outside the building, and groups of homeless men, (mostly), standing around in the parking lots under the expressway, whose look and actions fit the stereotypical vision of a homeless person...[think hairy, dirty, wearing too much clothing, loud, crude, & (in some cases), stoned or doped up, drunk or drinking], I decided that I'm just barely comfortable coming down there to seek help...but there was no chance of my coming down for any other reason, such as the Our Daily Bread soup kitchen, the City Shelter, missions or any organized social affairs that might be arranged.

I go back on the 29th to formally go through the intake process and meet with my LGSW*, (*I have not yet asked if he minds me using his name here), and see what's next.

He mentioned getting into their Suboxone program, to save money, because the prescription plan I have should cover it, but then said
I'd have to come down there EVERY DAMN DAY!??? like a Methadone program!!??
WTF.....?! not going to happen, either I get a month's supply like any other drug or I'll keep doing what I'm doing. There is no way in hell I'm getting involved in that mess again, after at least 6 years of being dope and pill free!

Anyway it is close to closing time and I need to give Corey his cord back and pack up.

Later................................Dave  

"The Cat Whisperer........................... &....................Calling Animal Control................."

 Good Morning;

Well.......as I've said before, it seems that there is no middle ground in my life, only extreme peaks and deep valleys. Yesterday afternoon I got a text from Jenn telling me to call one of her good friends about a chance to house and cat sit for her father while he is in the hospital and a rehab hospital...for about 5 weeks or more. An indoor bed, shower, washer/dryer, TV, kitchen..and on/near a bus line..was I interested?
Does the pope sh*t in the woods?
Is a bear Catholic?
Hell yes!!!!!

I am meeting her on Friday afternoon/evening to go to the house, (which is Canton by the way.....sweeet!) to get the keys and instructions etc.

When I left the Starbucks last night I had to swing by Monkees to get a single tablet of one of bupe because I had taken the last quarter the night before. I had thought I would be getting a bit of cash yesterday but the person never showed up and I had to ask for it on credit. I need to get back down by Friday night because Saturday there is the Baltimore Marathon screwing up most of the buses that run through downtown, making an hours trip into a "three hour tour".
After leaving Monkees I took the bus/train/bus back to Pikesville and stopped in at the gas station in time to see the O's play the last 3 innings of a 12 inning game, tied up at 2-2, eventually losing it 3-2 to a home run in the bottom of the 12th inning. The ALDC is now 2-1 Yankees....they HAVE to win tonight to stay alive!

When I got to the library I watched TV for a while until it got too cold then went and set up my bedding. The other 2 guys who are sleeping there, (and in the process of ruining it for everyone by pissing almost in the corner where he sleeps-Barry, or pissing in the loading dock area, near the picnic table where employees eat their lunches at times-Mark, who is also drinking and leaving his beer/booze bottles in plain sight)
I saw Barry get up and start peeing and said something and he said..."I do it all the time here", as if fouling your own nest is justifiable by repetition. I tried to tell him that people have been complaining to the staff about the smell, but he just began mumbling and talking to his invisible companions. Mark started making snide comments at this point, but half under his breath, nit man enough to say anything out loud. He made a few disparaging remarks about blogging, and I just told him he was an asshole, then rolled over and tried to get to sleep.

If these animals want to live in their own droppings fine, let them do it somehere else.If I see the guard here tonight I'm going to mention it to him, and if my police buddy drives by again as he usually does....well maybe he'll 'notice' the beer bottles on the ground.....

It was pretty cold last night...comparative to previous nights out here on the sidewalk recently..and I kept waking up because the zipper on this sleeping bag will not lock and creeps open as I toss and turn. My feet were chilled and I ended up pulling a plastic garbage bag over them around 5:00 am. to hold in the heat. This time it didn't get condensation on the inside like it did in the shed when I had tried it.....less temperature differential maybe?

Anyway, I have to head over to the bus stop to get to the coffee shop early and scrounge a cup of coffee before meeting with Margaret from HCH.

Later.............................Dave

"My Pants Have Gone Quackers..................."

Good Afternoon;

Well...I have 10 more minutes left and you lucky, loyal reader are the beneficiaries.!!!!! LOL!!!

I want to ask again if anyone has any old power cords for a laptop,

in the "20 volt - 4 amp range with a 'center positive' 2.5 mm plug" give me a yell please

And...I am wearing my last and only pair of long pants now, which are about 18% shiny silver "DUCK' tape patching the holes.
I am looking for some really, really cheap....or even better free, ('cause I have absolutely NO cash), size 48-50 waist blue jeans.

And times is up for real now

Later...............Dave

"Good And Bad......Part 3........."

Good Afternoon;
So...I'm back at the library after spending the morning having a CT scan done of my  abdomen and pelvic area. I've been having pain on the left side most likely the spleen, and from the lower spine through the hips and ass to the left leg, most likely a result of the tumor on the sciatic nerve.
The results should get to my doctor in 2-3 days, I'll have more info as it comes in.

I closed with the comment that I fell on Sunday also, well as I was leaving the Starbucks to go over to the Light Rail I stepped on a stone on the steps with my left foot, causing my left leg to slip and IO began to lose my balance. As my right leg came down too hard, too fast, and my weight was placed on it unevenly, my right knee twisted and buckled and I went down on my left side again, butt, back, and arm, scraping up the inside of my wrist in the process.....and spilling A WHOLE FRESH CUP OF COFFEE!!!.....(LOL!.....except for the pain). Now the left leg and knee had just healed completely from the injury a few months ago and the right knee is fine when I am not putting any sideways strain on it....like the pivot one does upon standing and getting up from a chair, shifting positin while sitting, or even just changing direction going around a sharp corner, etc. Then I have a fiery shooting pain that makes me see black for a second, with an involuntary hiss of indrawn breath. Even rolling over in bed..(Bed...HA! I made a funny.......lol)..without remembering to shift the leg from the hip first can be a real trip.

I got a call from the insurance company investigator/adjustor for Giant and was told that I basically have no case, but they would give me a $50.00 gift card, (Giant I assume, I did not pursue it farther at this time). I really don't want to get the lawyers involved, and I'm willing to settle for a small amount....but $50.00 seems a bit insulting.
I need to speak to someone with legal training immediately, hopefully one of the attorney's I know who frequent the coffee shop will be there today.

After I left the library and before I got to Starbucks yesterday I finally was able to walk into the S.S.A. office and file the second part of the paperwork that the HCH caseworker and I filled out last month. The anxiety attack was still enough in it's lessened state to have me shaking like a leaf in a hurricane, to the point where I could not hold a pen steady enough to sign the forms. The woman who was taking the claim was very kind and helpful though and I was able to do so after a few minutes of relaxation exercises.

I just received an e-mail from HCH, that Margaret was able to get me an appointment tomorrow at 2:00 pm. and will pick me up at 1:30 pm. at the coffee shop.
That is great, because the thought of the hours of waiting in line for the first intake was haunting me.

Times Up again....

Later.........................Dave 

"Good And Bad --- Part Two.........."

Good Morning;

So.............It has been a longer break than I thought since the last post.

Between the laptop being completely out of commission at the moment, (due to a broken power cord), the library being closed on Monday for Columbus Day, ending up at Jenn's Sunday evening thriugh Monday afternoon and not having a chance to get on their laptop, and not running into anyone at the coffee shop who wasn't too busy to let me use their laptop for anything other than a quick check of my e-mail,...well.... to quote the Steve Miller Band "time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin', awa-ay".

To continue where I left off.....

So without falling back into that descending spiral of depression I was headed towards when I left off on Saturday.....I'll garage that train of thought by stating, the process has been set in motion to meet with a Psychiatrist, (an MD.), that I both want and need to see.

After leaving JAI I caught another 'bus from hell', this time loaded to the limit and beyond with Baltimore City Public School kids.....of the Middle School variety, (and I think that requires nothing more in the way of explanation!!).....to the overloaded rush hour Light Rail to Mt. Washington, to the coffee shop.
While standing to the side of the condiment bar, OUT OF THE WAY!!, taking a cautious sip of the steaming hot coffee to see if I had gotten to my proper level of sweetening...(1 sugar crystal short of instant 'Adult Onset Type 2 Diabetes' a 'courtesy challenged, manners impaired, common decency deficient' POS customer reached around the corner of the hallway, from behind my back, (while the front of the condiment bar was completely open and accessible!), to grab a fistful of napkins, slamming into my back and jolting my elbow, sending me stumbling into the counter and splashing boiling hot coffee onto my face, hand & arm, and chest, (and my last clean shirt). I verbally exploded with a range of earthy and primitive comments spiced with various expletives, singly and in (at times colorful but physically impossible) combination. The 'perp' at that point continuing her headlong, 'Damn The Torpedoes' rush out the door turned and looked and asked..."Did I do that?" in mock innocence, with a poorly concealed snicker. I answered her in the affirmative with comments interspersed questioning her familial lineage, inter-species sexual partners, and if she had been birthed and raised in an agricultural outbuilding!

After changing into the least objectionable, (and luckily only to me, the people whose judgement I trusted said they smelled nothing wrong with it) shirt from my previously worn ones and got ANOTHER cup of coffee, this time without incident, I had a normal night of conversation and reading. Without the laptop to play/work on, the time has been going much slooooower at the Starbucks, especially if there is no one there to talk with.

The ride back to Pikesville was uneventful and as I was talking with one of the bus drivers who I had not seen for a while who was now back on the 58 route I mentioned writing for the City Paper. Before I could reveal that I was writing the Homelesscide column, the bus driver started telling me about "this great column you should read, by another homeless guy!"......LOL! When I told him it was me he didn't believe me until I showed my ID with the same name......LMAO!

I was still laughing when I got all set up on the picnic table behind the library, but it did not last long when I saw Barry, leaning over the garbage can with it's lid removed, puking his guts out! I gave him a bottle of water and a wad of paper towels and went back around to the table and watched TV for a couple hours. As I was setting up my cardboard and blankets and sleeping bag I saw him get up, walk 3 or 4 steps across the side walk and proceed to unzip and urinate all over the small plot of grass by the parking lot....NOT 8 FEET AWAY!., (Just about the same stupidity Mark showed the other night!!.....ANIMALS!). This just added to the odor in that corner where they sleep, and is going to really PISS OFF, (pun intended), someone from the library staff.
Homelessness Rule Of Life Number One And One/A  ---:
DON'T Shit In Your Own Nest!
Never Shit Where You Eat!

The above is an example of why many people want nothing to do with anyone once they find out that they are homeless, the few spoiling everything for the many.

So after cussing Barry out, and having all my words fall on deaf ears, I went to sleep. I woke up Saturday morning with the Sun, rearranged myself so that the brick pillar blocked the intruding rays and went back to sleep until 8:00 am.
I went to the Giant to wash up, use the facilities-(!!!),  and make coffee.
And the shit continued it's downhill slide.....
As I was walking back from the bathroom, passing through the frozen food aisle, my left leg flew out from under me and I started to fall. Trying to catch myself against the freezer doors did not work and I went down hard, with my right leg twisted at an unnatural angle beneath me. At the sudden stab of pain emanating from my right knee and heading up and down my leg, I screamed and two Giant employees and a few customers came rushing over. After sitting for a few minutes I was about to get up when the manager came by and said to sit for a few more minutes and took my name and phone number and asked what had happened. I told him that I had just felt my leg fly up and started to fall and saw that there was a small puddle of water on the ground.

After determining nothing was broken, I got up and slowly limped to the bench in the front. It did not feel as if anything tore inside, and I am fairly positive it is a severe sprain/strain.
Any other store I would scream for a lawyer and head off to the hospital in an ambulance....but not here. There is too much that has been done to lend me a hand at times here.
But there should be some compensation for my inconvenience and discomfort due to their negligence

Corporate is supposed to call me...perhaps an amicable arrangement can be made....more as it develops.

I'm out of time here...all 3 hours :(

Later...............Dave

P.S.....A teaser for the next post.....I fell again on Sunday!

"Good And Bad...........Part 1...................."

Good Morning;So............Another morning inside the library after a night outside the library.
And it has started out to be a fittingly bad day to follow a crappy night, which happened to slide in unexpectedly below the radar to bite me in the ass, (as punishment for having a good afternoon and evening and allowing a glimmer of hope to push back a bit of the gloom of despair?).

Allow me to rewind, .....
When I signed off here I caught the 'bus from hell' (the extra long articulated model, double the idiocy for the same low price!.....don't even f*ckin let me get started!!!!!), down to the 'hood and my quarterly doctor's appointment at JAI. After the initial oral consultation/examination to compare previously diagnosed and bring up any new issues, and the physical examination to diagnose and/or confirm them, there was still time for us to be able to talk about and for her to observe any changes in my mental and emotional states. (Which is one of the reasons I schedule my appointments at 4:00 pm. as much as possible,...being the last or next to last patient = "Time spent with the doctor", another being, = a shorter wait to be seen.) I was also able to bring her up to speed on my D.S.S./S.S.A. situation and the new relationship developing with HCH.

Some of the results of this session were;
 New tests ordered for blood and urine analyses to see what is going on with the gallbladder and spleen again, which are both showing signs of swelling/abnormality able to be detected by the doctor's palpation and my reaction.
New meds prescribed, and then ordered online to treat some skin problems on my legs and ankles that have been getting worse.
Referrals to the optometrist to see if it is new glasses that are needed for my vision issues,
and to the opthamolgist if needed. 
Blood tests on Monday in preparation for a CT scan.
The CT scan on Wednesday of the abdomen and pelvis focusing on the gallbladder/gallstones and spleen, & the sciatic nerve and the tumor on it.
A preliminary diagnoses and discussion of changes in my clinical depression that exhibit the symptoms of bipolar depression and her approval of and desire that I follow through on my decision to seek help from the psychiatrist on staff/affiliated with HCH as soon as possible.(Though I don't see how I could be biPolar..??
I like women, I've never slept with a penguin Or a polar bear!)
.......GOTCHA!!!!But in all seriousness, I'm going down to HCH early one morning and stand in line, (which is the policy for initial intakes), as soon as I can, which at this point looks to be Thursday, as I have to be at JAI Monday morning, I have a meeting Tuesday with my MICA professor friend Michelle on Tuesday about collaborating on her project "words and pictures--Home", and have to be in Owings Mills Wednesday morning 2 hours prior to my CT scan so I can drink the 'contrast medium' that will make my insides glow like 'Chernobyl on a moonless night' on the scan.
If I can get down there, and get in and out at JAI on Monday, I MAY....MAY be able to get to HCH on Monday.....oh...wait.....Monday is Columbus Day....are they even open???
It may be Thursday after all.
Anyway.....
Some of what she said, and the symptoms, examples, and conclusions she came to were similar and/or the same as what I was postulating as to changes and/or progression of my underlying mental/emotional health issues.....or, if I want to be honest and stop dancing around the words and their social stigma..."Mental Illness"...
So much of what she said, garnered from observations over the course of our doctor/patient relationship and her professional experience, as she asked me what I guess would be 'screening' type questions and statements echoed what I have been thinking and feeling. Yeah I may be 'Nuckin' Futx', but at least I'm not insane!......(LOL/Crying with relief).
Some of the things she said about being 'High Functioning' helped to, if not stop, at least slow down, the self destructive 'manic merry-go-round' of 'doubt>guilt>blame>guilt' that I've been on.
As painful as some of the condemnations and recriminations others, both those well meaning and narrow mindedly critical have been, none of it is as bad as the self flagellation that goes on within my own mind, when the at times debilitating inability to move comes up against the "You are too smart for this" voices in my head....

damn.........out of Time

Later........................Dave

"Surprise Visit......................................"

Good Afternoon;

Well.......I'mstill at he library and I have 7 minutes left on my computer time...
so I thought I'd bore you a little more....lol!
 I was getting ready to leave and stop by S.S.A. to drop of some paperwork, then eat a quick breakfast...(yeah I know, it's after lunch time....but I never got around to eating), then make my 4:00 pm. doctor's appointment at JAI. I was in the stacks and someone said hello and iy was the ex'es boyfriend who told me Rachel was too with her mother and sister.

So I got to spend some time with Rachel and we checked out one of the new "Playaway VIEW" mini video players and tried it out. it's real neat, a box the size of a small GPS unit with a movie/series/episode/collection of short videos. Too bad it's only here in kid's books so far.

I'm just about on the way to the bus now, and REALLY out of time...

Later...............Dave 

"Library Blues.................."

Good Morning;

So.....back at the library this morning, falling asleep again.
I was so tired last night that I kept dropping the TV while trying to watch it.
After nodding out at the picnic table half a dozen times I forced myself to get up and pack up and head around the corner and lay out my 'bed'. Barry and Mark were already there snoring away, with a box of donuts on top of the payphone a pair of stinking socks lying in the middle of the sidewalk and trash scattered about.

I actually had contact with both of them, at different times, last night. I was setup at the picnic table with the TV, [...  no cord yet for the laptop :(  ...], when he walked past towards the Giant and returned a short while later with a box of donuts scavenged from the "Dunkin'  Dumpster" and offered me one. He was mostly coherent and as rational as he gets, telling me about his girlfriend Diana and her dialysis, how 3 members of her immediate family had committed suicide, his plans to become a photographer, and everything you could ever want to know about balloons, balloon animals, balloon decorations for events and how to construct arches and canopies, etc...etc...etc...etc............'ad infinitum'! He is quite smart in a 'wild magic' type of way. I finally had to bluntly say "that's enough, I have to go sit down now....goodbye and see you later!" not rudely, but forcefully. Social cues are not his forte`..............lol!

My contact with Mark was less pleasant. He came around the corner, almost to the stage of 'stumbling drunk,' that point where overcompensation to try and keep from looking drunk makes one move like a marionette, saying "Hi, Hello Sir....It's me 

Mark... in various iterations, over and over.  He shuffled down the ramp of the loading dock and proceeded to unzip his pants, (this time), prior to taking a pee, not 7 feet away from me! I broke into his broken record drunken monologue, saying "Whoa!...WTF are you doing, don't do that here head over to the bushes or the trees!!!" before he got started. He began spouting something about "only gonna take a piss" and then "Sorry, Sorry, I apologize!!" and began walking up the ramp and away from me. I thought he was heading back across the parking lot....but when I looked up he was only just past the top of the ramp, beside the farthest of three small dumpsters peeing on it. This put him about another whole foot away, in a straight line, invisible from the chest down......still too freakin' close for comfort, not to mention common decency and sanitary and olfactory reasons!! I was uttering a few choice comments about his ancestry, hygiene, intelligence, and mating habits as he finished and walked away to go and pass out,....still babbling! He has habit of mumbling half heard and unfinished statements at the best of times, and more so when he is drunk. At the best of times he is the dictionarydefinition of an asshole!

For some reason I could not get more than 15-20 minutes of sleep in a row without waking up and then taking 10-15 minutes to fall back asleep....not a restful night. Barry left at around 6:00 am., (I have to ask where the hell he goes so early), and the asshat drunk, who usually leaves at the same time left on his weird bicycle at 7:45 am. as I was finishing packing up. I cleaned up some, throwing away the box of donuts on the phone and some of the bigger pieces of trash....I also put the large sheets of cardboard stashed behind the payphone conduit and mounting brackets in the recycle dumpster, hoping that the repeated disappearances will discorage them and lead them to find other places to sleep.....again!

Yesterday I had to speak to one of the gentlemen working here at the library about the situation, the smell, and the dirt beginning to accumulate in their corner. I wanted to disassociate myself from them. Ken said he knew that it was not me, and that he would pass it on.

Times Up Here
Later..........................................Dave

"Idiots Delight........................Or..........................'I Love The Sound (But Not The Smell) Of Morons In The Morning'............"

Good Morning;
 So....not too much new to speak of today.

After the library yesterday I went to the coffee shop, John gave me a ride back here after they closed and I was able to snag some clean cardboard boxes from the recycle dumpster there that were both tall and wide. When opened and stacked there was no need for any jigsaw puzzle moving and re-moving differently shaped pieces to get a pattern that was both long and wide enough, and not riddled with overlaps and seams and gaps that either slid apart in the night or made it impossible to get comfortable due to lumps and bumps.

I watched TV until 1:00 am., when I was sure the two idiots were asleep, then went and lay down myself and went to sleep. It was still very warm and humid so I lay down with my socks off and wearing shorts on top of the sleeping bag. It started to rain about 4:00 am. and I put on socks and opened the bag and slid in but left it unzipped and went back to sleep.
I was awakened at 5:45 am. to the sweet sound (and stink) of morons fighting and arguing about one throwing the others boxes away....and then each was having their own conversation with the other....at the same time! Barry starts talking and you can't get him off a subject or shut him up, or even get his attention without figuratively hitting him between the eyes with a 2 by 4 !....(while wishing you could do it literally!!!!!!!)! And on top of that he is freaking loud and in a corner surrounded by brick walls that amplify and reverberate his voice.  I literally had to tell him to "Shut The Fuck Up!!!" to get him to Shut The Fuck UP!

Well after they finally left about 6:30 am. I stripped down and dressed while it was still not quite full daylight and no one was around yet, (except the guys in the State police garage across the parking lot, but they ignore what goes on anyway....lol), and tried to doze....but no luck other than a few 5 minute 'power nap' periods. During one of which this guy had walked up and was standing almost out of sight next to one of the brick pillars, upwind, smoking, (or so I thought), a cigarette.

He had the damn thing between his fingers behind his back, just sitting there spewing smoke into the breeze blowing towards my face, taking maybe 3 puffs off the whole cigarette.
So....Fuck it....I got up, packed up, stacked/packed/& wrapped MY cardboard then stashed it over and away between a building and a fence, out of sight  and Not! the library, and  headed to the Giant to use the restroom and make coffee.
Then back here and I am now leaving as my computer time is all used up for today....
Later..........................Dave

"Angels In America......................Liquid Air...................."

Good Morning;

Well I'm back at the library again this morning after a trip to the Giant to wash up, shave, shop, and make an eagerly awaited deposit in the "Bank Of Back River". 

(Talk about blessed relief!
One good episode of serious constipation really puts certain physiological priorities into their proper perspective:

When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."

The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."

Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.

Last night was so foggy that the air at times seemed to change from a gas to a liquid! After I dried off the picnic table behind the library, opened the case for the portable, digital TV and turned around to plug it in and turned back....everything was dripping wet again. Once the TV was on and warmed up it was OK, but the cords and antenna stayed beaded with running droplets of water, as did the table and the surface of my bags. I ended up alternately watching TV and nodding out until close to 2:00 am. when I went around the corner to layout the cardboard and my sleeping bag and blankets. Barry and Mark were already there and passed out and snoring, with any smooth surface covered with water. Barry's sleeping bag, Marks down jacket, (which he had wrapped around his feet??), and their assorted cups and bottles, Mark's strange bike, (a folding bike with a friction drive motor mounted on the rack over the rear wheel, I am not sure if it had a tiny gasoline engine or a battery pack), his golf spikes, (which seemed to be his only pair of shoes--?)...etc.

Any 'soft' items looked to be getting soaked through, paper bags, blankets, cloth, etc.; and I know that Barry's sleeping bag, like most nylon shell types, will only remain water resistant/repellent for so long, and they had been there since at least 10:00 pm., 4 hours earlier.
When I laid out my stuff I did not have these problems, probably because of the combination of being under the awning with the bigass security light that was powerful enough to dispel the fog in a small 'enclosed' local area, and this allowed them to equalize or acclimatize to the same temperature as the surrounding air....though the plastic garbage bags covering my folded cardboard and the one that I had been using to haul the sleeping bag around in did get beaded up.

It was so warm at 2:00 am. that I was sleeping on top of the bag barefoot. At around 4:15 am. the temperature dropped and I crawled into the bag after pulling on my socks as it began to rain. The shower was heavy but only lasted about 30 or 40 minutes. I woke up every hour on the hour until I began the process of getting up, dressing, and packing up at 8:00 am.

And that brings us to the start of this post, then back to here.
As soon as I finish up here, and that is very soon, because I'm falling asleep at the keyboard with my fingers on the keys, spitting out random letters......making the screen like what the laptop is doing........lol!

I ran into my friends Gerry and Malka as I was coming in and say and talked with them for a bit. They told me they saw the latest City Paper column and commiserated with me on the passing of the shed to the great 'junkyard in the sky'..........LOL!)

At the Starbucks yesterday after I left here I ran into my friend Michelle who teaches at MICA. We caught up a bit on events and she also expressed condolences about the shed. We are meeting next week to discuss this idea she has about having me come and talk to her class about living without a home and read some of the blog posts-columns-and/or- my poetry. The overall theme of this semester's class is "Home", in various iterations, including the 'absence of ..'
More as it develops.
As she was leaving I asked to borrow $5.00 so I would have enough to get the tickets for "Disney On Ice" on October 24th, which is opening night and half price/bogo ticket day. When I got down to the First Mariner arena box office it turned out that prices have gone up since we went last winter, and I was still about 2 bucks short. When I told the girl in the booth to go ahead and try to find the best tickets she could in the cheap seats and mentioned that she had waited on me the last few time I had been down over the past 2-1/2 years for the ice shows and the circus she looked up and recognized me. Even more so when I mentioned how this was a continuing traditionbwith both my daughters and on to my grandkids, and asked her to do the best she could because I was on the street, and this was something really special to us.
She played with her ticketing computer and was able to get me the good seats for  $16.00, almost $14.00 cheaper than the half price rates!!!
(And a funny coincidence...HER name is Jennifer!)
Times up gotta go
Later...................................Dave



"Rain Delay..........................."

Good Afternoon;

So.... I'm sitting here in the library dozing off at the keyboard. It's that kind of day out there, gray, dark, raining steadily and at times coming down like Niagara Falls. I've been here at the library since around 9:00 pm. last night, when I walked over after John dropped me off at the Giant.
I watched TV until about 1:00 am. and tried to get the power cord to work on the laptop,....with no luck. :(
Then, with a double load of cardboard beneath me I fell asleep as soon as I got on top of the sleeping bag. I woke up sometime during the night and crawled inside, but have no memory of doing so. I was awakened just before 6:00 am. when it started to rain, gently. At a bit past 7:00 am. it started to come down in buckets, luckily with almost no wind. I moved everthing over about 8 inches so it was up against the wall and went back to sleep until 8:00 am. when the 'Shufffling Gray Horde' began to arrive early for the senior center.

At 9:00 am. I came inside and have been checking the rain to see if has let up any so i can head over tp the coffee shop.....or at least down to the Giant to make a cup of coffee and grab a bite to eat.

Times up for now..

Later..............Dave 

"Week In Review........Fantastic Fan .........................Laptop On Life Support.................."

Good Morning;
Well......It's been more than a week since the last post, and that has been due to a variety of circumstances.
One of which is that I have just been so damn tired in body , mind, heart, and soul.
I have not been 'feeling it' as the saying goes, and I also think my muse is off on another one of her extended 'lost weekends', and until she stumbles back, bloody eyed and trembling, and sleeps off the hallucinations and DTs........my creative inspiration is on hiatus.

So....a quick recap of the missing week.....
Last Sunday (the 23rd) I had just arrived at the Starbucks in Mt. Washington after a mostly sleepless night behind the library fighting the laptop keyboard to a standoff, trying to write and send off the current City Paper column, (see previous post for link). My phone buzzed and it was Jenn with an emergency text pleading for help in moving them from the apartment in the m-i-l's basement in Monkton to the house they are renting near Hampstead. The torrential rain on Saturday halted the move and on Sunday everyone bailed on their promises to show up, and they had to return the truck that evening. After bolting down a quick cup of coffee and a sandwich I headed to Hunt Valley on the train to be picked up.

When we got to Monkton it was late afternoon and the air was cooling down. Inside it was warm and stuffy because of the piss poor job of construction that covered over the windows, allowing NO ventilation. So I ended soaked to the skin and alternately burning up or freezing and shivering with cold chills.....NOT a funtime! We finally got the truck loaded and unloaded and went back to Tom's mother's to bathe, (the boiler would not light at the new place). As I was getting out of the shower and toweling off I realized I had somehow lifted, twisted, stretched, or pulled something in my back and shoulder, on top of exacerbating the arthritis and host of other musculo-skeletal issues I am dealing with. Why the f*ck is it always ME the old fart with the messed up, broken down body that ends up showing up when all the younger unreliable, irresponsible "friends" don't?

In any case, Jenn had needed me to watch the grandmonsters Monday night and Tuesday, Tom needed help on Thursday night picking up a washer and dryer he was buying form some guy in Hanover Pa., (in the pouring rain of course....lol), and again Friday watching the kids.....so it was 10:30 pm. Saturday night the 29th before I got back here to Pikesville, and spent the next few hours puttering around the Giant, the gas station saying hello to Daniel, watching a little TV, and scavenging clean cardboard to lay on, (which is pretty much a nightly thing, because once I saw Barry take and use cardboard I had stashed....well, between his urine/feces/tobacco stink, and his history and indifference to insect infection..I was NOT taking the chance of his having used any before me

Yesterday, Sunday the 30th, I was up and on the road early to meet Evan from the City Paper at the Giant with the balance of the cash due from my check for the column. Then it was over to the East Side to see Monkee and get 'bupes' for the next 10 days, back on train, (buying a monthly bus pass while at Johns Hopkins station), to old Ct. station to catch the bus to Pikesville and the RiteAid to get 4 more prescriptions refilled, then back on the bus, to the train to Mt. Washington and the coffee shop. John gave me a ride back to the Giant and I waited out the next wave of storm cells, hoping it was the last of them, and that the sidewalk by the library was dry. It was , and after spending a few hours watching TV and fighting the laptop, I laid the cardboard out and the blanket, and then the sleeping bag and went to sleep. (After a half a dozen semi-coherent attempts by Mark the Crackhead Caddy to start a 'conversation'[?], which I ignored.....because listening to his 15 minutes of pissed off muttering and grumbling and talking to unseen companions beats the hell out of having to beat him over the head with a board...literally!...to get him to disengage from an unwanted conversation!!!)

Today dawned sunny and cool, but warmed up rapidly as the sun rose above the State Police Headquarters complex and I was at the Giant and in the bathroom by 9:00 am., shaving, washing up, making coffee, and putting on fresh clothing from the skin out. It made a big difference in the way I felt....as did the conversation I had with a young woman as I was stowing my bags and prepping my coffee.
She was watching me and walked over and asked "Are you Dave?"
I took a closer look at her 4-5 year old son, did the mental math, and came up with'Too Young....I'm Safe'....( Hey I've been celibate so long that I'm about to become a 'Born Again Virgin'...{You didn't know?....After 7 years of celibacy, jail time NOT included, you get your 'cherry' back!}........[again...but to use a well worn phrase....'that's a story for another time'.....lol!]...........and answered "Yes", she then went on to say that she reads our little blog here and enjoyed it. Well I enjoy having my ego stroked as much as anyone, (and when a beautiful woman does so.....that's a whole slew of 'bonus points'....so this added to an already nice day!...(and the way things have been inside my head recently...."NICE" is the equivalent of 'freakin' awesome'!

So Lauren,....for reading, recognizing, and approaching me, (and your generosity), .....many thanks!
"For All You Do....This Blogs For You!"
;~)


And by the way, I'm at the Library because the power cord on the laptop just died too....and the battery is good for 7 minutes......so I'm not a happy camper.
And it seems that each day another piece of clothing rips, tears, or just plain disintegrates.
My nerves are so shot right now that I've chewed my fingernails bloody, almost down to the first knuckle....and the frustration of having an inoperative computer....and no place to leave it....is not helping.

Anyway, times is nearly up here and I've babbled enough......

Later..............Dave

Gimme Shelter - Columns - Baltimore City Paper

Gimme Shelter - Columns - Baltimore City Paper

"Melatonin Meltdown..........................................."

Good Evening;
 Well.......I ended up with about 2 hours sleep this morning in a 3 hour period before the sun, nearby activity, and my back woke me up.
I hit the library for  an hour or so then jumped on the buses to the Starbucks. A lazy tired day here just basically trying to stay awake.

It rained like hell here for about 15 minutes around 7:00 pm., enough to give everything a good soaking, and raised the humidity so that things will stay damp. Like the cardboard that I had stashed away to use as a mattress. I have no idea where I'm crashing out tonight and it's probable that I will not be online once I leave here because of the extreme damp, same for the benches and the ground by the library.

OEekaey EIe'm tiereed oeef coereereectueeeeeeeeeeeeeeineg foere aeeeell the damn eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee'sE

Later......................................Dave. 

"Where I Did NOT Spend My Summer Vacation............................"

Good Evening;
This is a copy of a letter sent to the editor of the Baltimore City Paper
from a resident at Baltimore's Code Blue Homeless Shelter:

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Wed, Sep 19, 2012 at 10:50 AM
Subject: Letter to the Editor SHELTER CLIENTS TREATED LIKE JAIL PRISONERS
To: letters@citypaper.com

APRIL LOVELL
CODE BLUE SHELTER
BALTIMORE, MD

CODE BLUE SHELTER PROBLEMS

Comments: FROM APRIL LOVELL AND
APPROX 100 RESIDENTS STAYING AT SHELTER.

WE ARE WRITING IN REGARDS TO THE

CODE BLUE SHELTER

HARRY AND JENETTE WEINBERG FOUNDATION.

LOCATED AT

620 FALLSWAY, BALTIMORE MARYLAND 21202


THE COMPANY RUNNING THE SHELTER IS CALLED     (JHR)



THE CONDITIONS ARE UNBEARABLE, FOOD & MEALS ARE LIMITED TO CERAL IN THE MORNING EVERY DAY AND NOTHING ELSE, NO LUNCH,

AND A SMALL BAD TASTING FROZEN TV DINNER IN THE EVENING.



RULE AND REGULATIONS CHANGE FROM DAY TO DAY AND A PERSON WHO DOES FINDS A JOB AND GETS

OFF WORK ANY TIME AFTER 1:00PM CAN NOT GET BACK INTO THE THE SHELTER MOST OF THE TIME AND HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE STREET.



THE COMPUTERS WHICH THERE ARE ONLY 4 OF THEM, 2 FOR LADIES AND 2 FOR MEN  ARE BEING TIED UP BY CLIENTS

WATCHING MUSIC VIDEO'S, LISTEN TTO MUSIC AND WATCHING PORN WHEN THEY BE LIMITED TO SEARCHING FOR JOBS, HOUSING AND

STATE AND FEDERAL ASSISTANCE AND BENIFITS.



IF YOU HAVE A DOCTOR APPOINTMENT ITS THE SAME SITUATION, YOU CAN'T GET A BED OR GET BACK IN THE SHELTER AFTER 1:00PM.



THIS IS SUPPOSE TO BE A 24 HOUR SHELTER AND YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET IN OR OUT AT ANY TIME TO GET A BED.



THEY HAVE NO COFFEE AVAILABLE FOR US AND WILL NOT ALLOW US TO HAVE OUR OWN COFFEE AND SELL COFFEE TO CLIENT AS

WELL AS CIGARETTE, HOWEVER THEY MAKE A PROFIT WITH TWO COKE MACHINES AND INE CANDY AND SNACK MACHINE.



WRITING OUT A COMPLAINT GRIEVANCE TO THE DIRECTOR DOES NO GOOD WHEN YOU HAVE A COMPLAINT AS YOU NEVER HEAR

BACK ABOUT YOUR COMPLAINT. THE SHELTER DIRECTOR SPENDS MORE TIME GOING OUTSIDE SMOKING CIGARETTE THEN HE SPENDS IN HIS OFFICE



THE STAFF IS VERY RUDE AND THE TREATMENT HERE IS WORST THAN BEING IN JAIL.



WHITE CLIENTS ARE TREATED WORST.



YESTERDAY EVENING THEY HAD A FIRE DRILL IN THE POURING DOWN RAIN WHICH WE HAD TO STAND OUTSIDE FOR 2 HOURS GETTING WET.



I COULD GO ON AND ON, BUT YOU NEED TO HEAR FROM THE CLIENT AND SEE IT PERSONALLY.



COULD YOU PLEASE HAVE A REPORTER OR/AND A TV CAMERA CREW COME OUT AND INTERVIEW THE CLIENTS AND COMPLAINTS.

THANK YOU IN ADVANCE

APRIL LOVELL

cc:

BALTIMORE SUNPAPER

CITY NEWS PAPER

WBAL TV

WMAR TV

FOX 45 TV

FOOD BANK OF MARYLAND

SOCIAL SERVICES

  Deja Vu? 

Later..............................Dave 

(And I just wish to state that I do not know this person and have no idea who the  other "approximately 100 clients" are, and while many of their experiences

  parallel mine, these are independent complaints.)

"Friday Was Flyday, Up, Down, & Across Town.....And Back........"

Good Morning;

So I'm about to pack up the TV and the laptop, wander down to the gas station and try to use the restroom. Not so much a matter of access as ability.... :(
Then back up here to the other side of the library to find a place to lay out my sleeping gear where the Sun won't be in my face at quarter to 6:00 am. like the past few times I slept here....twice accompanied by Babbling Barry supplying color commentary to his invisible audience. I am exhausted but have not been able to get to sleep until just before dawn.....here, and at Jenn's.
The effects are cumulative too.

Turned in a draft of a column to Evan at the City Paper for next week by e-mail from the library about Noon, then went down to their offices and picked up a few bucks as an advance on next Fridays check. I stopped at the coffee shop for the rest of the afternoon and evening, then down to Monkee's for a couple hours of chat and catching up, and picked up meds to last through Wednesday. Then back up to Pikesville, the Giant, and here behind the library.
I've been on bus, subway, light rail, lr, lr, b, b, s, b......all for $1.20.
Can't beat the day pass the MTA came up with, (of course the scheduling and 60% of the driver's attitudes aren't worth a bucket of cold spit...).

Anyway.....stick fork in me hon, I'm done!

Later............................Dave                                                                                                            

"Return Of The Nightwriter........................"

Good Morning;

Well....another night out here behind the library with the TV and the laptop with the keyboard from Hell.
I was over Jenn's, for one of the last times at the apartment at her m-i-l's house, from Monday night until this afternoon. It was a typical one night planned, three nights actual, visit. Except for somehow  pulling a muscle in my neck/shoulder, not getting any sleep, being at the bottom of a depression cycle, and running out of meds and experiencing the beginnings of withdrawal......it was a good time.

I stopped and saw Monkee and got a 'bupe' so I'd have meds for Thursday and Friday. I have a column to finish and send as soon as the library opens at 9:00 am., and then go down to the City Paper offices to see Evan. He told me he could get me advance, which will be a lifesaver right now.

It feels strange having to think where to spend the night each night again.
I looked around at the pavement on the side of the library and StinkyBarry was there laying down his cardboard as I was setting up at the picnic table, about 10:30 pm. About 1:00 am. I was putting some in the dumpster and saw that AlkyMark the Caddyholic had stumbled over and crashed out too. I was hoping that the local police patrol's preference of the side parking lot and his paranoia towards the cops and having people watch him sleep would keep
   him away, after his reactions last week.

Well I'm getting tired of spending a third of my time on this laptop backspacing and erasing 'eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee's !
So it's now time to finish, (maybe), watching "The Blues Brothers-2000" then   haul my tired old ass around the corner and lay down myself. It's too late to scope out anywhere else tonight and it's starting to get chilly too.
The sleeping bags and blankets are freshly washed and calling my name.

Later.........Dave 

"Monday..........First Day Of the Year - 5773............"

Good Afternoon;

So....I'm here at the library about to head over to the coffee shop for a few hours, then Jenn is picking me up after her HG and we're heading back to Monkton. She needs me to watch one or both, (Depending on whether the DMV has finally sent out her change of address cards for her driver's licence so she has an'official' piece of mail to show the Baltimore County Public School bureaucracy so Ed can be enrolled in the elementary school that actually abuts their property at the new house. They are still in the process of moving in bit by bit as time, vehicles, and finances allow, so until she has that paperwork, Ed is in limbo.), of the grandmonsters tomorrow morning, and possibly again tomorrow night. So I'll be staying there until Wednesday morning or early afternoon....("Weather" or not I need to monstersit or not!!.....lol! Have you seen the forecast for Monday night through early Wednesday...? 'Gonna rain like a sumbitch!')

Anyway...I'm outta here for now, I just found and borrowed enough coin for bus fare for today...finally....(and it was only 95 cents I needed, but it's Rosh Hashana and nobody Jewish I knew was here in Pikesville at the Giant, library, or elsewhere, and I did not run into any of my 'goyim' friends 'til late.....lol). I wish it had been earlier so I could have made it to SSA and DSS when I had somewhere to leave all my bags and sleeping gear etc. It's too late now, the person who was going to let me leave them in the back of her store is gone and the other managers don't know me.

Maybe more tonight from Jenn's.......

Later...................Dave

"Here Today....Gone Tomorrow,--Tomorrow Hell, Gone Tonight!!!...& ...You Have The Right To Remain Silent Fool!--Freakin' Use It! ..... & .....Uncomfortably Numb.............."

Good Evening;

Well..........I'm outside the library again tonight after spending a lazy, (except for the ecstasy and agony of watching the Ravens play, then lose, to the Eagles), day at the coffee shop.

I spent last night until 4:00 am. watching TV and playing on the laptop out here too.....after getting a big shock when I got off the bus and found only an empty lot and a blank wall! Now after the events of Friday and Friday night it was only to be expected.....but damn....that was quick!

So I ended up sleeping on the pavement on the side of the library.
It was like Grand Central Station last night! Besides Barry aka Rainman aka StinkyUrineMan who I knew was there, I was unpleasantly surprised to find Mark the AlkyCrackHead Caddy passed out in his sleeping bag a few feet farther down.
I moved to the far end, and since I was in my sweats, just laid out some cardboard and blankets and stretched out thinking I'd get 4 or 5 hours sleep.....NOT!
At 10 minutes to 6:00 am. 'Rainman' was up and babbling away at full volume about freakin' camera shutter settings ..... TO NO ONE!  After a couple of shouted "Shut The F*ck Up!"s went unheeded I had to get up and head to the benches out in front. About 20 minutes later  he wandered off towards the 7-11 and I went back and dozed on and off  for 2 hours then got up and packed and stopped in the Giant before catching the buses to Mt. Washington.

John gave me a ride back to Pikesville after the Starbucks closed and I stopped in the Giant and made the mistake of engaging Mark the CrackheadCaddy in simple conversation because he happened to be standing next to me. I couldn't get rid of him when he saw me here at the table, once when he first found me and again a few minutes ago when he came around geeking out all paranoid about the cop car that came and sat in the lot. It was either just before or just after shift change and is a normal thing as they catch up on paperwork etc. But of course she was 'sitting and staring' at him.
What a textbook example of the massive death and/or irreparable damage of brain cells due to 'hittin the pipe'!

Speaking of the police..... I had a visit last, (Sat.), night from my buddy Officer Ransom. We talked for a half  hour or so before he had to speed off with lights and siren going, joining 3 other cars flying up Reisterstown Rd......if only Mark knew......lol. Then there really WAS a cop staring at him!......lol!

Okay....it's getting to be that time of year, (and night), and my freakin' fingers are getting "uncomfortably numb" and starting to hurt, same as always when the temperature drops below 60 degrees......and for which the neuro-docs have never found an explanation.

Later.......................Dave

P.S.......Welcome new follower John!

"Back To Sleeping Under The Stars .................. AKA. .............. Pray Hard For A Long Indian Summer....."

Good Afternoon;

Well.........my son-in-law just left here with half a dozen bags of 'stuff' that I grabbed from the shed last night, mostly cold weather, (booo....hissssssss!!), items like the other, heavier, sleeping bag, quilt, blankets, etc. Some copies of magazines and newspapers, and the little bits of extra clothing I have. Most will go into the attic of their new home that they are moving into bit by bit, and some to where they are now at his mother's so I will have clean clothes to change into after showering when I go up there Monday night with Jenn after her HG meeting. She needs me to watch the kids on Tuesday and maybe Tuesday night, so I will be up there until Wednesday midday.

I have been here at the library, out back on the picnic table until about 4:00 am. Then laying down on the side of the building, (luckily upwind from Barry!!!), until about 8:00 am., then either on the bench or back under the portico in the shade organizing and re-bagging my possessions, until 2:00 am., then in here for the past hour on the computers.

I have one days bus fare and I think I'm heading over to the coffee shop because I haven't had any caffeine yet today. I'm pretty sure I can scrounge up bus fare for Sunday and Monday while I'm there.
It looks like dinner is the last veal patty and/or bagels, with a late night snack and breakfast tomorrow from the "Dunkin' Dumpster".

As for sleeping arrangements.....it looks dry for the next few days, so I'm just going to crash out again beside the library after I am done watching TV out back.

I knew that something was about to happen with the shed because of the way everything else has been heading downhill, from mental health to money in the past 2 weeks. The City Paper column being one bright spot shining like a beacon through the shitstorm that is my life. The Urbanite publishing my essay in it's very last issue is typical of the 'up-down-no middle ground' yo-yo effect I call life.

Anyway, that's about it for now......

Later..................................Dave

'Urbanite' shutting down at end of September, publisher says

Good Morning;
Well, This explains why I can't find a copy!
As soon as I get an essay published.....they go out of business!
'Urbanite' shutting down at end of September, publisher says

Scroll down to 4th essay
http://www.urbanitebaltimore.com/baltimore/what-youre-writing/Content?oid=1476992

Later...............................Dave

"Hit The Road Jack.......OR.....The Shit Has Hit The Fan................."

Good Evening;

So.....I'm sitting here outside at Midnight, behind the library, again.
Ho hum....yawn, you say, so what, that's nothing new.
Ah....but this time everything from the shed that I want to keep, (out of the surprisingly large accumulation of 'stuff' that was in there) is in 10 trash bags, an Army duffel bag, and the 2 bags I carry with me on a daily basis, all sitting in, on, or around a shopping cart from Giant!)
What you say....but why?

Well, back up to this morning when I was awakened by a strange buzzing vibration and noise. I thought it might be the landscaping crew with a weed-eater cutting around the fence and walls. I got up, dressed, packed, and got ready to leave the shed. As I checked through the peepholes in the wall and door I saw demolition/construction company trucks in the lot, the door to the office building open, and men going in. The noise that woke me was a jackhammer and it's compressor being used inside the building.
I was in the process of slipping out and locking up when one of the workers saw me. He did not say anything or seem to pay any attention to me so I just headed around the corner and up to the Giant.

And when I went to use the restroom, John, the porter, had it blocked off like a HazMat site. He put on a disposable face mask, gloves, boots, and a plastic apron and headed in with the heavy duty, high pressure water hose from the warehouse to spray off the walls and floor and fixtures that someone had splattered with feces after they used the urinal as a commode.
This has been a recurring and escalating situation, that just happened to peak on a morning when my nerves were on edge and my gastro-intestinal system in urgent need of immediate relief. After I and a second 'shopper in need of relief' checked to be sure the ladies room was empty, (and drafted another random customer to act as doorman, promising to return the favor), I was able to partially sedate the evil-mutant-ninja-robotic-butterflies that were terrorizing my stomach lining......(enough to begin to dissolve it with coffee.....lol!). 

And do some low, low budget shopping. A $1.00 loaf of white bread, because there was nothing cheaper on the 'day old' rack, and a 4 pc. package of 'fully cooked breaded veal patties' for $1.59,[actually they're not half bad-(with the white bread, if you put enough mayo on it I can eat most anything.....lol)-with some marinara sauce and melted provolone/mozzarella/Parmesan cheeses on a toasted sub roll or focaccia bread. With the "Dunkin' Dumpster" doughnuts, and the 1/2 dozen bagels I was gifted with, this is food for the next few days.
But I am off on another tangent.

After the Giant it was over to East Baltimore to see Monkee and pay her a few dollars on the debt and grab a couple days worth of meds, which still leaves me short when these are gone because of the gap between then and the refill date. The day just kept getting better. Then, the bus back up North Ave. was ridiculously late and so overcrowded that although I was able to get a seat in the very front so I would be able to get off at the Light Rail I had to put my shoulder bag on the floor in front of me, with one leg on the side of it with my foot hanging down the stairwell, and the other foot on my bag. Needless to say the bus was the one that was filled with 15 or so women already high as hell from their daily dose, coming from the Methadone Clinic with their weekend "takehomes"...which they were in the process of selling and/or trading....when they weren't falling out of their seats...... face first! By the time the bus got up to the District Courthouse it was like being in a can of sardines! Maybe half a dozen people got off but 20 forced their way on, to the point that the door would not shut at first, until some people twisted and wriggled around. Even though the driver tried to stop well before or after the stop when people wanted to exit the bus, people STILL bumrushed the front door, and did the 'ghetto slide' sneaking in the back door. Meanwhile, there was a big dude  mouthing off and trying start trouble... a fight... or both, with "white boy this" and "white boy that", about my bag and where I was sitting.

Eventually I got to the Light Rail unscathed and made my way to the coffee shop. I ate, drank coffee, read the paper and my book, and caught up on a sh*tload of e-mails.  After 6 hours of no keyboard problems the eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee key began f*cking up again just before closing.....and since I started here outside tonight.
It has been a real p-i-t-a trying to type this!

But, you don't care about all that, do you? You just want to find out WTF!!

happened with the shed!
Well.......I caught the 9:55 pm. bus from the Old Court subway station and got off across from the gas station and hit the "Dunkin' Dumpster" to 'reload'...lol. After that I crossed the street heading for the shed.
As I came around the corner I had a bad feeling and saw the edge of a construction dumpster. My heart was racing and felt like it was in my throat as I saw another dumpster under the carport and the awnings from the office building piled in front of the shed door. I walked closer and saw that the door and frame had been torn and twisted apart and ripped open. This nearly brought me full circle to this morning and had my stomach doing flips and flops. I unlocked the lock and salvaged it and my chain and went inside the shed. Amazingly it looked as if nothing was touched. I grabbed some plastic trash bags and started putting things I wanted to keep into them. I ended up leaving a bunch of books, some clothes that don't fit, a couple umbrellas and some miscellaneous crap. I may slip back in there in a few minutes to see what else I may want. The first time I was most concerned about just getting in and out quickly.

In any case, this keyboard is driving me crazy!....gotta go!

Later.......................Dave

P.S.  and I guess you've noticed that I have not addressed WHERE I and my possessions are going next....ummmmm,
Your Guess Is As Good As Mine!

P.P.S. and that 'light at the end of the tunnel' that I thought was a sign that this episode of depression, et. al., was beginning to abate.......NOT!
It was just the headlights of the express bus on the "Highway To Hell!"

"It Came From The Abyss........."

Good Evening;
 

Well..... I know I have not posted much of anything of my own for the past week or so, and I apologize for that. It has been a really bad couple weeks inside my head.
This has probably been the worst episode of depression/anxiety/DPD in...???, 3 or 4 years, at least. If I had went in to see the doctor there was about an 80% probability I would have been "invited" to check in somewhere for 'observation'.....and that's just not gonna happen right now.

I should be back with some sort of rundown of the past week or so tomorrow or Sunday, now that the pendulum has swung back to where I feel more of an urge to reach for the computer.....rather than the cyanide...  :)

Later...............................Dave

"One Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words................................"

Good Afternoon:

A link to a post from my (Internet) friend Nadia's blog;

http://www.thehomelessgirl.com/2012/09/the-homeless-photographer-of-instagram/

Later.........................Dave

"What You're Writing............"

Good Afternoon;
A link to my essay in Urbanite Magazine,
 on the subject of- Companionship
Scroll down to 4th essay.

What You're Writing

Later..........................Dave

"Dead Tired...........Dead Sore..................Dead Broke................OR.............Dead Normal!...................."

Good Evening;

Well................it was another one of those days when it was 1:30 pm. before I could even summon up the energy to get up and move about.
It's Saturday, and there was nothing I had to do, I was just so tired, and everything seemed toe hurt all at once, and again....this particular episode of depression is kicking my ass.

I went to the Giant to wash up and shave, [which although not as good as a long hot shower, helps like you would not imagine......usually :(  ], and borrowed a dime to get one of the $0.79 packages of lunchmeat. That and a bag of donated bagels is the menu for today...tomorrow, it just bagels.

I stopped at the library for a bit then grabbed a bus to the subway, hoping to miss the rain.....which I ALMOST did....twice!............lol!

It's closing time here at the coffee shop, and I guess it's back to the shed, as I'm guessing everything will be too wet to sit outside...and too cool also, for shorts.

I am supposed to go over Jenn's to watch the grandmonsters tomorrow because she and Tom are going to see RUSH, at Jiffy Lube Live, way the hell and gone down in Virginia.(Damn they win a lot of free tickets!!!...lol!)
I have to find bus fare to get to Hunt Valley on the Light Rail, as I don't have a monthly pass again this month, and I down to my last 20 cents.
Something will come up somehow....gotta check all the payphones and ticket vending machines on the way back to Pikesville....lol!

Later.............................Dave

p.s...............oh and btw....this is post # 1400
that's a lot of babbling!................lol!

"A Day With Rachel....................&................Where's The Thunder?............"

Good Evening;

First, Thank you to 'John', and if I did not reply to your e-mail, it probably got lost in my junk folder as spam because I did not know it was not. I'll answer any that I get, (except obvious hate mail....lol), if you place the word 'Homelesscide' in the Subject box it makes it easier to spot when looking through 5 dozen scams. :~)

Well.....I'm here at the coffee shop again after spending the better part of the day at Rachel's, (her mother's), house. I asked her mother last night if I could shower and do a load of laundry and spend some time with Rachel today. She said yes and we made arrangements that I would be picked up around 9:00 am. at the Giant, as she had some shopping to do. I got to wash, etc., and work with Rachel on some of he school work. 

(She is home schooled....and I am not 100% happy with that, but luckily she is very bright and there is more of a concerted effort to follow a 'real' curriculum than was the case with the "ex'es" other 2 girls.)

About 3:30 pm. I caught the bus down to Mt. Washington and here I've been.

And just as a bit of curious irony....
Tuesday night as I was passing by Fords Ln. on Park Heights Ave. on the bus I saw the road being closed off by a police car, and fire equipment u the street.....LOTS of fire equipment! I thought it was farther up the street from the apt. bldg. we used to live in but a text msg. from Jenn told me it WAS my old place, (and the site where this journey began).
Not only was there a large blaze there on Tuesday night, but at 8:30 am Wednesday morning the fire department was there again.
The place was vacant and had no electricity, no gas, and no water, and was boarded up completely on all ground floor doors and windows.
The investigators are not making any definitive statements yet..... but?!
The building was up for auction for tax liens at least once that I am aware of, and rumor has it more than once.

Hey...how about a bit of trivia?
Do you know one of the slang terms for arson for profit?..:

???????

I make no claim that this is the cause, it may have been squatters with candles or a camp stove, or crackheads, junkies, or tweakers with a flame, a dropped cigarette....who knows?
I guess the Arson Investigators and Fire Marshalls will let us know.

Later..............................Dave

"A Good Day To Stay Asleep..........Shame It Was Not Longer........."

Good Evening;

Well............I almost caught up on my sleep today, waking at 7:00 am. to take morning meds and falling back asleep until Noon, then going back to sleep until 2:30 pm.

It was not a good day for me and I was not able to go out and deal with other people until about 5:30 pm., when I went to Giant, washed and shaved, and spent my next to last $2.00 on food.
Then I sat outside the library eating and reading until I finished the book I was involved in.

So I have 10 minutes here on the library computer until closing.

And nothing much more to say......it really is a BAD day inside my head.
Maybe later tonight if the wifi connection behind the library is not as fickle as it has been, I'll have more to write.....

Later...........................Dave

"Graveyard Giggles..........."

Good Evening;

http://citypaper.com/news/columns/tales-from-the-crypt-1.1368198

Later..............................Dave

"Riding With Ozzy................'When You Peer Into The Abyss****The Abyss Also Peers Into You!'............"

Good Morning;

So....I'm at the library again today, and it looks as if I'll be here if I want to post anything other than a link to the blog. The keyboard on the laptop has become such a hassle that using it for more than 'click and point' mouse work is more trouble than it's worth.

A short recap of the past week...
I went to Jenn's on Friday to watch the grandkids, staying until Labor Day
Monday. I've written about staying there enough already, the only thing I have to say about this visit is that I could not get any restful sleep... a situation that is still ongoing, back at the shed.

They have a new place to live now, and are in the process of moving stuff bit by bit over to it. A full scale move with as many friends as possible especially those folks with vans or trucks, and the rental of a U-Haul for the big items is in the works, date TBA. They will be out from under the batshit crazy, unsanitary, dirty, and completely unhygienic m-i-l soon, and not a second too soon!

They are moving west across the top of Baltimore County to Falls Road to a 120 year old 2 story with finished attic and dirt basement farmhouse, (which has been in a bunch of motion pictures....I'll find out exactly which ones soon). It's about 5 minutes longer from the Hunt Valley Light Rail, so access is not that much different from where they are now.

On Labor Day I was supposed to take Rachel to the Maryland State Fair, but the weather, particularly the torrential downpours and thunderstorms that kept popping up from the time Tom dropped me at the LR at Hunt Valley and continued all afternoon once I got to Rachel's mother's and the awful, miserable, nasty humidity between the rains, put an end to that idea. We spent the day at her mom's just hanging out, watching TV, and playing really fun board game where you have to build railway lines across the continental U.S.A. with her mother. I ordered out and treated for a delivery pizza and french fries, (REAL!!! FFs!!....Yummmmmmm!!), from the Mt. Washington Subs And Pizza And Indian Food carryout, and it was pretty damn good. I caught the last bus at 8:03 pm. back to Pikesville and sat out in front of the library for a while reading and watching TV until the battery ran down, then hit the shed. It was so hot and humid I HAD to go buy batteries for the little fan I have,....at 2 minutes to Midnight/closing at, the Giant! Which means I ended up paying almost $7.00 for 4 D cell Dura-Max batteries. But it was necessary, because there was no where else dry to lay down, and I HAD to lay down and get off my feet.

Tuesday, after another bad night of almost no sleep, it was up at 8:00 am. and take morning meds and try to get back to sleep. I was up at 10:00 am. and about to leave the shed and peered through the peepholes to be sure there was no one in sight. Just as I was about to open up, 3 vehicles pulled up and people got out and began walking around and looking at the office building. It seemed to be a real estate guy, an architect/engineer, and 2 contractors. When they all went inside I popped the door slipped out with my bags and ran the chain back through the holes and locked it back up, then headed over to the Giant to wash up and shave. After puttering around there for an hour, (and grabbing up a great bargain...there were containers with a bunch of 2 inch square little deli meat sandwiches in them for $0.99, I took some over to the scale out of curiosity and 4 0f them weighed between 1/2 and 3/4 of a pound each...so I snatched them up. I paid $2.00 for 4 and got over a pound of meat, mostly rare roast beef, with a little turkey and ham too. Even after peeling away the moist and almost soggy squares of bread there was still a pound of meat. With a loaf of Giant rye bread and a handful of mayo packets...this was breakfast/lunch....it was after 4:00 pm. before I finally ate, dinner, and late night dinner!) Then it was over to the RiteAid to drop off a prescription, then here to the library to check for any e-mails, then on to the buses and over to the coffee shop.

Like my time at Jenn's m-i-l's, I've written enough about a regular day at the coffee shop...so...at 9:00 pm. it was back on the train to the train to the bus to Pikesville, the picnic table behind the library, TV, late night dinner, and a 2:30 am. stop at the gas station to use the restroom before laying down and trying to sleep....
Which bring us to today.....I hit the Giant on the run at 8:00 am. to use the restroom, came back to the shed and changed and dressed for the day and gathered my bags, went back to the Giant for coffee and lunch meat...(there were still the little sandwiches, but they were both too small and the bread was too far gone, turning to mush, for me.....someone must have ordered a platter and never showed up to get it, that is where these came from I guess, and they had to try to salvage some profit from them).
Then I went to the RiteAid to pick up my prescription, I stopped here at the library, and now I'm leaving to head to East Baltimore near Johns Hopkins to get another weeks worth of one of my other meds.
After that I'll most likely stop at the coffee shop.


As you might have guessed from the past few posts, yesterday's in particular, I'm not in the best of places right now....and that covers the field from Physical to Emotional to Mental to Spiritual. A deeper than the norm fall into the abyss of depression combined with the "contact high" stress that I have been absorbing from the abnormaly extensive time recently spent at Jenn's during their little excursion, "Goin'Off The Rails On A Crazy Train", and a slew of other outside influences not for publication in such a public venue, and I'm feeling as stable as a bottle of nitroglycerine in a blender.

But on the lighter side of all the suicidal ideations.....check out today's (Wednesday Sept 5th 2012) edition of the Baltimore City Paper, page 9, for my latest "Homelesscide" column - 'Tales From The Crypt'
(Link To Be Provided Later Today...OR go to www.citypaper.com, click on columns tab, scroll down and ckick on 'Tales From The Crypt' - HOMELESSCIDE)


Later................................Dave

"Gremlins.......Major Depressive Episode............Ideations..........................Exhaustion.............."

Good Evening;
Well................I'm still alive, and it's a real 'iffy' thing
right now, the depression isee kicekeing my ass!E
And thisee kyboeaerde ie not hlping. Plus I can't get any truly restful sleep ofe late. I'm about to geive up!
SCREEWEE IT!

Later.......................Dave

Good Evening;

WantE!Eeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Noe...

NEED!!!!!!!!!!!E

http://www.geeksaresexy.net/2012/09/02/logitech-washable-keyboard/

Lateeeeereee\eeeee........................Dave

"The Pale Blue Dot......................"

Good Afternoon;
So........2 links to 2 versions of Carl Sagan's famous monologue: 
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?efbid=406842779376772&set=a.352867368107647.80532.352857924775258&type=1&theater

http://vimeo.com/22582065

Read....Listen....Stop....Think

Later.....................Dave