Tuesday, September 13, 2011

"Insomnia Stew..................And A Full Moon Meltdown..............."

Good Morning;
So it's 20 'til 1:00 and I'm sitting out in front of the library on a lovely cool and comfortable late summer night. I just finished reading the last 100 pages of my book, ('Golden Buddha- An Oregon Files Adventure', by Clive Cussler & Craig Dirgo; the first in the series), which I did not expect to do.
But...between the Full Moon Mania; medicinal and bio-rhythm timing de-synchronization and de-stabilization; normal day to day worries, stress, and bullsh*t related to this current lifestyle; caffeine; indigestion, abdominal pain, back pain, and all the other interconnected bodily and mental malfunctions, dysfunctions, deterioration, decrepitude, and self inflicted destruction; old fashioned, plain Jane, garden variety, white bread, everyday insomnia; the weather and water issues with the shed combined with the new real estate strategy of the holding company that includes demolition of the current office building; a rapidly decreasing period of time in which to find places to stash/store my few meager possessions before Jenn and family are out of the apartment...T-16 days and the related issues arising from their move and my personal hygiene; the impending loss of contact...again...with my daughter and grandkids; my weight gain and the feelings of guilt and the underlying deepening depression causing this and other increasingly overt and obvious symptoms and the self defeating actions or lack of actions resulting from the depression........plus anxiety over the condition of my boots and whether I can find new footwear before they literally fall apart; and my wardrobe in general, between wear and tear and my fat ass, things are pretty shabby just now;......and with all this crap inside my skull,....all thrown together in an industrial strength, high speed, rotary mixer in my head.......sleep ain't a-comin' anytime soon!
(Even if I tried to 'Mickey Finn' myself, the half bottle of vodka and the medications I have would only cause me to fall asleep for an hour or so before waking up with an extremely dry throat and 'alcohol insomnia'......lol).
Some people say, exercise...work out...tire you body out...you'll sleep like a baby!
(Well....I'm not real interested in waking every 2 hours crying and laying in my own bodily discharges!................lol!)
But seriously, all exercising does for me is make me dirty, tired, sweaty, sore, and pissed off that I am still awake in addition to all that.
And this damn laptop is freezing up every 5 minutes or less if I hit a key too hard, bump or bounce it, or freakin' fart too damn loud!

I'm going to wander around looking (snooping) at things that one does not usually get to see during the daylight hours....what's being recycled in the way of library books in the dumpster, where the cops are sitting and hiding out talking car to car, who else is wandering through Pikesville......

Screw it, I'm tired f rebooting this damn thing, and the battery's low anyway.....


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